The Big Picture
King James Version (KJV)
5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
7 Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.
God has taught us that our 'flesh'(sin) must die, in order to be 'born in the spirit'. So, God sends hardships so that this transfer may occur. God does not allow you to miss every trial. For example, we, normally, don't learn about situations until they turn into hardships. (We, truly, learn about heat by the burns that it causes.) We are just learning about the characteristics of situations and learn more of their designs.
It does not matter how anything seems, until it is complete. For example, in order for a builder to make what a designer has formed, the builder's project will, many times, not look like what was designed. Every situation, good or bad, has brought you to this point in your life. God is the designer of all life. Even to this point, look back on situations, in your life, that, at the time, made you think that your life was being guided by a different design. Being that God is life's designer, it makes since that Jesus' earthly father was a carpenter (builder). Unlearn.